JWs say Jesus is the Archangel Michael
And failed to predict his return five times
That you earn your salvation by witnessing
And that you can’t say the Pledge of Allegiance

Mormons say Jesus is Satan’s brother
By magic rituals and polygamy
They say you can become a god of a planet
And that all churches are abominations

Christian Science says the world is the Matrix
That there is no Trinity
And Jesus wasn’t pierced for our transgressions
And if you go to the Reading Room, you’ll get better

My Bible says God became a man
And his name is Jesus Christ
And he stood in the place of sinners
To remove their guilt and send the Holy Ghost

No amount of failed end time predictions
Or preachin’ against the Pledge of Allegiance
Or polygamist Mormon gods of planets
Or Matrix ideas will ever change that