Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.
–1 Timothy 1:18-20 (NIV)–
I have wondered for years why many people have not written more about this. The main place I have found in books about the issues of faith in regards to good standing and assurance, are books on getting saved, and being born again. Books on people who were once regarding themselves very lost like gangsters or criminals, or perhaps Muslim people that needed to leave violence and a life of hate and come back to God. There are people with testimonies of getting saved from natural disasters and different types of phenomena, but are there reports of people that had shipwrecked their own faith, and come back to God? I think when people talk about “backsliding,” “losing their spiritual awareness, or losing their identity in God,” or “losing the Holy Spirit,” or “struggling with their faith (not the usual day to day, but really grappling with their beliefs),” or “feeling lost,” I think this is what the Scriptures are referring to.
Its something to be alarmed about, that one person can really be destitute, far from God, but its even worse for the souls that don’t look at this idea of shipwrecking their faith, as rather a stepping stone to “going on with Jesus.” I am proof that if you approach it even half-heartedly, and honestly look at your own state in God, you can be brought back in the fold and become a fruitful Christian, maybe not instantly, but you’ll get there. I’m sad to say that I have experienced this at least two times; and having it been memorable enough for me to have left a stain on my soul. It has been decades for some of it, but the problem is when the soul doesn’t keep FAITH AND A GOOD CONSCIENCE WORKING TOGETHER. Let’s go ahead and read what the Scriptures say.
When you don’t heed your conscience in God, your reasoning can quickly become darkened, and when that happens enough times, your heart is hardened. I wish I could tell you how I already know this. It is vital that we fight continually. Whether its the powerful flesh (sin body), that derails us from the truths of God, apart from our born again man (Romans 7); or the world’s sheer veil of darkness caused by demons that cloud our view; or our being carried away in temptation by our own lusts (James 1:14-15), it is truly necessary to hear and heed that we MUST fight.
I see that Jesus delivers me time and time again, because ultimately I am more like Jesus in me than Peter in me, and as one of my favorite movie quotes from The Grapes of Wrath, the saddened post-minister says, “That’s like a miracle out of Scripture.” Plainly, yes, it is. That’s God’s sheer grace and mercy. When Paul wrote about this idea of being shipwrecked, it was mentioned in 1st Timothy. This chapter 1, yes we should read the whole chapter to get a good glimpse of what Paul wrote to Timothy, is Paul writing Timothy that there are false brethren that have not understood God’s call and it looks like they brought in confusion: “they do not know what they are talking about or what they so confidently affirm” (1 Timothy 1:7); and when there are false teachers, its not a good case of the law of God being handled properly. The very idea of men not holding God’s Word with the utmost seriousness and trembling, is not for the faint of heart, literally. The Word has to be handled with confidence and great care, and God’s sweet mercy in the ministers of those who claim to do so. Then those who hear the Word will see the law properly handled, and be able to thrive like the sheep that they are. When you have horrible false teachers, and someone who is devout; and the devout come under testing, they are a target for even more attack than is already plentifully available to us, everyday just fighting against our own sins and temptations. So in Ephesians 6:20-28, we see that we need the whole armor of God:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes (and it does come), you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
The “shield of faith” written about was in conjunction with the “helmet of salvation” which I believe, pertains to our conscience and keeping faith–which is SPIRITUAL. Paul wrote both of these passages. We can’t concentrate with brain power only, but the spirit in us, our wills, and our volition when added to the conscience fused by the power of the Scriptures, is a surefire recipe for being strong in faith, if not strong outwardly, then stronger against the wiles of the devil. You can’t just rely on memorized Scriptures either, but God working with YOUR own conscience, between you and Him.
I struggle so badly and fail many times every given day, but I know so much more now of God’s knowledge of me, and of my own soul’s weaknesses and strength, that I actually have a very weird appreciation of struggling with needing faith and conscience at the same time. I hope this helps because its not easy to revisit these sad episodes in my walk of faith, but it does help people to look honestly at these things. God be praised! Because Christ is the ultimate victor in our faith!
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life (1 Timothy 1:15-16).
And for those who say I should not consider myself a sinner anymore, I admit to being foolish as one who should do better; but I also remember Jesus speaking better of the man who said, “God have mercy on me, a sinner” (Luke 18:13), rather than puffing out my chest in a righteousness I simply do not have without Christ. I need God for validation.
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